STORIES AND TESTIMONIALS I no longer beat my wife and children. There is a whole lot of change and peace now. I really want to thank Father A Nation and #NoExcuse for reaching out to us as men, and continue to help other men out there. “ ” - Anonymous

Hearing authentic, real-life stories from the men and women whose lives have been impacted by the #NOEXCUSE on-the-ground roll-out is the greatest reward for our efforts. And it is also compelling evidence that the programme is making a significant difference. Here are some of the stories our team has had the privilege of being a part of.

VIDEO TESTIMONIALS 

VIDEO TESTIMONIALS

“Rape is totally wrong.”

“We must be Champions in our community.”

“I reconnected with my son after 4 years.”

“We have to let men talk.” 

“When you are a Champion Man, you cannot be violent.“

TRANSCRIPT:

“Hello, thank you for this opportunity. I was a part of this course today, talking about no excuse for abuse. I learnt a lot from this course that I didn’t know. I’m grateful for this course because I really learnt a lot from the six virtues booklet. It taught me that as a man I am expected to behave a certain way. I also learnt about being a champion man, when you are a champion man you cannot be violent, you must behave well and find better ways of dealing with problems and conflict. I am grateful for the chance I got to learn. Mr. Dube taught us a lot. I can say I am filled with knowledge from the session we had today. Please continue with the good work may God bless you . Thank you, a lot.“

““It’s painful being emotionally abused by your wife.”“

TRANSCRIPT:

“It’s painful on both sides, from the mother, the father and the children because if you are the father and you are being abused in your home by your wife. you tend to take your anger out on your children. When you are abused by your wife verbally and emotionally because you are unemployed. Especially because she knows she can go and ask for help from her family and come back and be disrespectful because you have nothing to offer or contribute.“

Audio recordings

Audio recordings

“Our son has changed for the better.”

“Thank you #NoExcuse for building our future.”

“#NoExcuse has taught me a lot. I’m looking forward to being a better man.“

“As men we are very grateful.”

“As men we can come together and find a solution, instead of hitting our women.“

“My name is Kadiaka Mothapo. Today’s session really helped me a lot as man because I didn’t know where to go and who to turn to. Today we were enlightened and were made aware that we as men, when we have problems in our households we can come together with other men and try find solution, instead of hitting our women and having anger issues.”

Kadiaka Mothapo

“I see a difference in behaviour of the youth since NoExcuse has been here.“

“I am Mpho Mojapelo from Lethlabile Brits Centerville. #NoExcuse came here and spoke to the youth, and now we see a big difference in their behaviour. and in their lives – there is change.  Now we know there’s a group of men and brothers we can talk to when we have challenges.”

Mpho Mojapelo, Lethlabile Brits Centerville

“Thank you for respecting me when I came to you crying.“

“Brother Tembe it is Chief Mabaso speaking, thank you for respecting me when I came to you crying with regards to GBV, where men are being abused by women vice versa. I was referred to you by someone then I came to you and the FAN team I asked you to come to Protea South informal settlement to meet men and teach them to have a voice and know that they are protected. In many cases we see that the law is always on women’s side, but they also have a hand in abusing men. Thank you for helping with the team, I saw the work that you did even at the hostels, they trust themselves now, you have brought back their respect, and they gained confidence as men. They are the heads of their houses, and they must protect their houses. Thank you, brother Tembe, please do not get tired, I will send other Hostels as I would like for us to finish them. For now, I will go to Dobsinville to ask them, then go for Town Hostel when we are done in Soweto. Please say thank you to the team, I would like if you guys have programs that you give to the people to learn a skill the pass it on to others. Thank you. ”

Chief Mabaso, Protea South informal settlement

“Our son has changed for the better.”

“Thank you #NoExcuse for building our future.”

“#NoExcuse has taught me a lot. I’m looking forward to being a better man.“

“As men we are very grateful.”

WRITTEN TESTIMONIALS

WRITTEN TESTIMONIALS

“I’m no longer who and what I used to be thanks to #NoExcuse and Father A Nation.”

“I’m no longer who and what I used to be thanks to #NoExcuse and Father A Nation.”

“I thought about killing her, but thanks to my training I used my mind instead.”

“I’m Neo Maseremula, I was staying with my partner, but have decided to move out my place because she plotted to get me arrested.  I found her sleeping with another man in my house – she planned it because she wanted me to beat her so that she can report me to the police, so that I can get arrested. If I got arrested she would be free to do what ever she wanted. I did not do as she was expected me to do, but instead I just keep quiet until she confronted me and asked me why am I quiet after what she did. I answered by telling her that am moving out and I want her to remain in the house with the property I bought with my hard work. I am working, I have also been doing side hustling so that myself and my partner could have a good life. I once thought about killing her, but because I have learned a lot in my training with Father A Nation facilitated by Mr. Tembe at Protea South informal settlement, I managed my anger and used my mind. Right now I can control myself and I wish my other peers could get such training and I have proposed to Mr. Tembe to bring more, because he can use his experience to make men talk about something that has hurt them previously, by telling his own story.”

Neo Maseremul, Protea South informal settlement

“Things have changed all thanks to you and the programme, he’s a sound man”

“Hi, my name is Ms. Sylvia Ntongana from Langa zone 9 – 4 , hope your fairing well Mr. Pike. We met at your event in Langa with my brother, Sibusiso Ntonganga who had anger issues and alcohol abuse. Since you’ve been mentoring him, I’ve seen a huge change in his life, he manages his anger and is not consuming too much alcohol, as you know he used to verbally abuse me and his nephews. Things have changed all thanks to you and the programme, he’s a sound man if I can say, however there’s still room for improvement. You’re a star Mr. Pike, how I wish you’d continue doing the excellent job that your doing . The prayers that you do with the people helps a lot as this is a spiritual warfare. He’s looking forward to the 6th session with you. As you know he still doesn’t have a phone as yet, please do continue using my number, thankyou. 🙏🏽”

Sylvia Ntongana, Tambo Village

“Father A Nation and #NoExcuse brought about in myself self awareness and clarity.”

“Greetings. My name is Molamudi James Mathipa. I am from Sebayeng local around Ga-Dikgale. I am privileged to announce thankful meets to Mr. Rathabeng Mamabolo, Mr. Mafumane, Father A Nation (FAN) and #NoExcuse. Having met this programs since 2023, I found an opportunity to learn and uplift self contained social knowledge and experiences through manual packed facilitations. Father A Nation (FAN) and #NoExcuse brought about in myself self awareness and clarity that has helped me through dealing with personal masculinity and remedial of actions as a man. They have contributed in enlightenment on social norms and partnership, on how to best sustain and solve work related issues, social interactions and viability.”

Molamudi James Mathipa, Sebayeng

“Men should respect women and understand that they are not property .”

“Hi, I am Aubrey from Bochum. Most things start when someone is young and conversations need to focus on a boy child as well as men because they must be raised well. Men should respect women and understand that they are not property therefore no one can claim ownership over them. We men need to understand women don’t need protection from us but respect. Men need to be honest about their feelings and emotions so that they can get psychological support through trainings like this one where they can express their problems  and get help. They can get help from organizations like Father a Nation. ”

Aubrey, Bochum

“I am thinking of giving my marriage a second chance.”

“Hi my name is Belukazi, a few weeks ago I came across this programme in Khayelitsha in Meway hall. When I met Mr Victor Pike all was not well with me, I have been in this emotionally abusive marriage for 12 years, and felt helpless and a failure to my kids as this was affecting them too. Little did I know that the light would shine upon me. My husband and I entered the programme and learnt that there are better ways to deal with our issues/problems. After attending the programme I am thinking of giving my marriage a second chance. To #NoExcuse, keep up the good work your doing 🙏🏽 ”

Belukazi, Khayelitsha

WHATSAPP SCREENSHOTS

WHATSAPP SCREENSHOTS

“I no longer beat my wife and children.”

Below are four screenshots taken from three different Whatsapp conversations between a mentor and men who reached out for help.

“I no longer beat my wife and children.”

Below are four screenshots taken from three different Whatsapp conversations between a mentor and men who reached out for help.

“I was not aware I was hurting my family.”

Below are separate WhatsApp messages from individuals who have been touched by the programme.

“I was not aware I was hurting my family.”

Below are separate Whastaspp messages from individuals who have been touched by the prgoramme.

What will you change in your life as a result of this training?

1. I will be able to vent and open up to people and express my emotions.

2. No drinking beer early in the morning.

3. I do  not want to  binge drinking again and focus to your family.

4. Stop abusing my woman

5. Is stop drinking alcohol everyday and stated to virtue in to business.

6. Not to drink everyday.

7. To be healthy and stop drinking.

8. Becoming a better man.

9. Become a better person.

10. Drink less because I am sick.

11. Drinking less

12. Drinking too much of alcohol

13. I must become a better person the community

14. I am going to change the dose of drinking and live a better life.

15. I will limit how I drink

16. I will change how I drink

17. To drink responsibly

18. My smoking habits

19. To become a good man to my children and the community.

20. I will take responsibility for my health, I will not longer drink unresponsibily

21. Get my own business and get income and improve other people’s lives.

22. To drink responsibly

23. To be responsible for my actions

24. To drink responsibly as a man.

25. Becoming a better man and leave the right life.

26. My well being

27. That I should stop abusing women when am drunk

28. I will be a responsible man to my community and my family.

29. Behaviour, drinking ways and friends.

30. Drink better and support my children and have a wife.

31. To abuse alcohol, I am an alcoholic so I want to refuse drinking a lot of acohol.

32. To not be angry even when there are challenges that I face daily.

33. Is that I should limit my drinking.

34. To be a good son to  my parents

35. To connect with real men

36. I will drink but stop on limit and go for  rest.

37. I have to stop abusing alcohol.

38. To take the responsibility to my kids on becoming supportive.

39. Being unemployed and being a men for my house.

40. Not to send children to a tarvern, open a business.

41. Hobbies can also change, Behave and respect one all the time, listen to people’s ideas such as words.

42. Doing things differently, Being a better father to my children,

43. To challenge every problem and difficulties that I am facing and talk to other people and discuss.

44. To drink responsibly

45. Stop holding problems to myself and share with people I trust.

46. No to drink too much of beers

47. Reduce drinking

48. We must drink resposnibily

49. To make sure that my family are safe.

50. How I view or judge myself as a man. I would change my behaviour and attitudes in how I treat those around me.

51. The way I used to drink and making better decisions.

52. To be responsible 

53. I will stop all the bad things of fighting with girls.

54. Reduce drinking

55. To be responsible and limit my drinking at home.

56. I quit drinking beer

57. Be able to change my limits of drinking

58. Being responsible

59. Being a better person, need and using your strength for good.

60. To be a good man and be responsible to my family and friends.

61. To live  a better life and to be a good example to achieve for the better future.

62. To stop drinking

63. Maybe stop drinking.

64. To be a good man and special person.

65. To drink after meal to be a moderate drinker.

66. That I must trust other people.

67. Always return to the book they gave me.

68. Stop drinking alcohol too much.

69. Being a better person, How I want to be remembered.

70. Continue to strive to be the best man I see fit for myself and these around me that I care for.

71. Stop argueing with other peoples cause they can make you angry.

72. To respect each other.

73. Change my habit of drinking daily, how to use my strength.

74. Be better at communication.

75. Being a better man.

76. To live alcohol, to be close to my wife and to be trusted by my wife.

77. Change my ways of doing things.

78. Have enough time with family, I will be a loyal father, I will keep my body fit, healthier.

79. I will change my habits and routines.

80. The power of positive thinking and financial literacy and women, child abuse.

81. I will stop drinking too much because when I am drunk I sleep.

82. I will be a better person in the community and also a better partner and father to my kids.

83. Reduce alcohol always being a good parent to my children, keep my surrounding happy and health.

84. Yes I will change and I promise to change.

85. I will change how I drink and respect my wife.

86. Drink less- train more.

87. The more of this campaings come to our community.

88. Not to be a binge drinker.

89. I want to change the community  by teaching the young generation to grow for better days.

90. The lives of those who are alcoholic and substance abusers for the better.

91. To reduce using drugs, substance in my life.

92. Changing my mind and how I see it.

93. I will become a responsible man.

94. To become a responsible person in life.

95. Being a responsible man.

96. I would like to change to be a better man.

97. Drinking less.

98. Respect woman and limit alcohol.

99. By taking responsibility for our actions.